In Wives and Moms’ monthly “Am I Overreacting?” series, we answer an anonymous submission asking that question. Here’s what we think — how about you?
Dear Wives and Moms,
My mother-in-law watches my son while my husband and I work during the week. She recently started to let him nap while laying on her and its starting to disrupt our nap time routine. We have told her not to do this and to put him in his crib instead, but she has not stopped. I am so annoyed by this. Am I overreacting?
Signed,
Missing normal naps
Dear Missing normal naps,
As a new mom myself, I’d be annoyed too. No, you’re not overreacting.
The big issue here is not necessarily the nap time routine, but the fact that your mother-in-law isn’t respecting your boundaries. Have you asked her why she is hesitant to put him in his crib? If it’s because he doesn’t fall asleep easily, you can give her a few strategies that have worked for you when it comes to nap time.
Is it because she just wants the extra cuddles? If so, that’s a red flag since you’ve already requested that she stop. As irresistible as those baby snuggles might be, she is still disregarding your requests as the child’s parent. It may be time to have a serious sit down with your mother-in-law to lay some more concrete ground rules.
Remember to approach any conversation calmly and respectfully. Thank her for being available to watch your son while you work, and express your gratitude. Then, reiterate that while she may not agree with everything you request, it’s important that she respect the guidelines you’ve established for your son’s care. Explain once more that when she allows your son to fall asleep on her, it disrupts his nap time routine and makes it harder for him to acclimate to his crib.
If you talk to her again and she still ignores you, you may need to have a conversation with your husband about finding another caregiver for the work week. That might seem a little extreme, but again — the issue here is that she is not respecting boundaries you’ve put in place for your son. If she ignores this request, what will she ignore in the future?
Wonder if you’re overreacting? Email your anonymous questions to jennifer@bridesofli.com to be featured!