In Wives and Moms of Long Island’s monthly “Am I Overreacting?” series, we answer an anonymous submission asking that question. Here’s what we think – how about you?
Dear Wives and Mothers,
My husband painted our living room without talking to me about it first, I happen to love it. I am just annoyed that he did that without talking to me first. I plan on keeping it since it looks so wonderful I am just so mad that he did that. Am I overreacting?
Signed,
Painting Faux Pas
Dear Painting Faux Pas,
It’s frustrating that your husband did that! However, I wouldn’t be too mad about it, especially if you love it.
That said, I don’t think you’re overreacting by being annoyed that he didn’t talk to you first. What was his reasoning behind not asking you? Was he doing it to surprise you because he knew you’d love it? Was painting the living room something that you had talked about before? Perhaps you couldn’t decide on a color, and he thought he was doing you a favor by picking one that he knew you’d like. If his intentions were out of thoughtfulness, it’s definitely not worth getting mad about.
Maybe he didn’t think about it, and just wanted to get it done. Is this the first time he’s made a major decision without consulting you?
Whatever his reasoning, you need to have a conversation with him about making decisions without giving you a heads up. You don’t want him to make a bigger decision without discussing it with you first. Calmly explain that while you love the color, you would have preferred he let you know ahead of time. It’s important to really listen to his reasoning without holding judgement or getting upset.
Once you get everything out in the open, continue to keep the lines of communication open about other decisions moving forward. And definitely drop the issue about the paint color! Unless, of course, you want to give him all the credit for picking an awesome color.