In Wives and Moms’ monthly “Am I Overreacting?” series, we answer an anonymous submission asking that question. Here’s what we think — how about you?
Dear Wives and Moms,
My daughter turned 3 a few months ago. She’s obsessed — and I mean OBSESSED — with Disney princesses. Especially Belle, Tiana, and Rapunzel from “Tangled.”
I threw her a big birthday party in our yard that featured the Disney princesses. We had cardboard cutouts, plates, napkins, balloons, and other decorations that all featured different princesses. I even hired one of those princess party companies and “Belle” joined the party for a visit. My daughter and her friends had the best day. The mother of one of my daughter’s friends (I’ll call the mom “Ashley”) commented at the end about how much fun they both had, and that she loved the theme.
A few weeks later, my daughter got an invite to Ashley’s daughter’s birthday. The invite was covered with Disney princesses. I tried not to let it bother me, but we had JUST thrown a Disney princess party. Couldn’t they have chosen something different?
When I took my daughter to the party, it looked like a carbon copy of the party I had just thrown. The same plates, the same napkins, the same balloons…it was as if Ashley had gone through my trash and swiped all the decorations to use for herself.
Then, the kicker: the SAME Belle that I hired showed up!
I’m so mad about this and I want to say something to Ashley. That it’s ridiculous that she copied my daughter’s party to the smallest detail, and that I won’t be inviting her daughter to anymore of my daughter’s party if she’s just going to steal all my work. My husband thinks I’m being crazy and that I shouldn’t say anything. Should I confront Ashley?
Signed,
The Original Disney princess party
Dear Original Disney princess party,
While I can understand being a little miffed at a copycat, you are definitely overreacting here.
Listen, Disney princesses aren’t exactly a niche interest. I’ve yet to meet a little girl under the age of 7 who doesn’t love them. So it’s possible (or even probable) that your daughter’s friend is just as obsessed with Disney princesses as your daughter. In fact, she may have begged her mom to throw her the same party as your daughter, or she may have requested a Disney princess birthday BEFORE your daughter’s party even happened. As a mom myself, if my kid wants a certain theme for their party, that’s the theme I’m going with — regardless of if another kid has chosen the same theme.
You said that Ashley “stole” all of your work. But here’s the thing…unless you designed the plates, napkins, balloons, and cardboard cutouts yourself, she didn’t “steal” any of your work. She bought licensed decorations that are available to anyone who can find them and wants to pay for them. I’m sure that thousands of moms have bought those same decorations. There have probably been a few hundred purchases just in the time it’s taken me to write this response. Again, Disney princesses are POPULAR.
As for the same “Belle” — let’s be real, “Belle” is probably a high school or college student trying to earn a few bucks. The more gigs she can get, the better.
What it comes down to, though, is this: Your daughter loved her party. That’s the important part. Not what some other mom did for her daughter, not the copied decorations or same “Belle,” it’s that your daughter had a great birthday. And I’d be willing to bet she loved her friend’s party too, and vice versa. We throw birthday parties for our kids because we want them to be happy and feel loved. That’s the goal. Not originality, not outdoing another mom on the block, it’s that our kids have fun.
I wouldn’t jeopardize your daughter’s friendship by saying something to Ashley. Just chalk it up to “imitation is the highest form of flattery,” and move on.
Think you’re overreacting about an issue involving your marriage, your kids, or your relationships? Email your questions to jennifer@bridesofli.com