In Wives and Moms’ monthly “Am I Overreacting?” series, we answer an anonymous submission asking that question. Here’s what we think — how about you?
Dear Wives and Moms,
My mother-in-law was babysitting for me one afternoon and she gave my 2 year old son orange slices for a snack. I hadn’t given him oranges yet, and I’m really upset I wasn’t there to see his reaction. I want to be there for it all and it breaks my heart I missed this. My husband thinks I’m being ridiculous for being so sad about it, but I just can’t get over it. Am I overreacting?
Signed,
Wish I Saw the Oranges
Dear Oranges,
I want to start off and say that, as a first-time mother of a toddler myself, I get it. I don’t want to miss any of his “firsts,” as every new experience is so fun for my kid and for me too. But unless we spend our days staring at our kids and doing absolutely nothing else, we realistically won’t be able to catch every single one of their firsts. And in the grand scheme of firsts, trying a new food like oranges is a relatively small one.
That being said, did you ask your mother-in-law to skip the oranges since he hadn’t had them yet? Or did you give her a specific menu to follow for his snacks and meals? If there were some instructions or boundaries in place that she ignored, that is worth a discussion. Obviously you want any of your babysitters — family or not — to adhere to your guidelines. Disregarding them is not only disrespectful to you, but could also put your child in danger. There’s always a small risk of allergic reaction when introducing new foods, so you’ll want your caregivers to be on alert (or avoiding new foods altogether).
If you didn’t give her any menu specifics, then what happened is just an unfortunate circumstance. If you’d like her to steer clear of certain foods or activities so you can be present for them, just give her a heads up next time. Chalk this up to a “lesson learned” moment and you’ll be better prepared in the future.
If you’re really struggling and obsessing over this incident, it might be worth mentioning it to your doctor. Believe it or not, postpartum issues can last for years after birth. You may be dealing with some lingering PPA or PPD, and your medical team could provide you with some helpful options.
Wonder if you’re overreacting? Email your anonymous questions to jennifer@bridesofli.com to be featured!